> bring me to life.

~~Saturday, June 30, 2007~~

11:29 PM

Ok as promised,this entry shall post abt my Bryan master...hehe

This is his portriat of his family...4 of us including aHbEnBen..drawn on the night before AhBEn arrived!!

This is his 1st free drawing done in the school...after he mastered the alphabets Aa-Dd and his name Bryan Yue... And of cos needless to say..Im so so proud of him...cheers
A close-up of his drawing. In this drawing there's me the one that looks like puppy he says is me...his dad only got head no body drawn...and himself the full version with a V-neck shirt.. (can u figure which is which?)
he trying to act cool...lol XD
And he's such a sweetie to asked me to capture him and AhBen...hhaha...

btw..Zeus this sweet and unique name is no longer in use for the piglet...so we ended up naming him Ben= fav son... and Ben happens to be the artist's name, the one that i went crazy over...Ah Ben...a man with such a charming, appealing, attractive personality...lol...Ooops...hehehe

And nxt post shall be of random pics taken so far...lol

save me from the nothing I’ve become..

~~Saturday, June 23, 2007~~

10:52 PM

I hope I really can make it there...

mentally worn out sia...
esp by cow lah...tat idiot is nt being helpful in any sense...
i cried this morning (ya tats y my eyes swollen)...together with bryan at the coffeeshop near my house... (the only place where there's early morning sun for bibi to tan out his jundice) sian sia... its like never ending... whenever he's gt insufficent sleep or lost matches..both of us suffer lah...
1st is bryan...always kena for trival things...then i will get upset and E-mo breakdown...its tiring ok?

i wonder who is the one on confinement now... is it cow or me?
he's taking more rest than me yet...haiz...sibehsian...

i hope im coping well lor...lucky i can still lean on my parents and Xiaoball. they are ever so helpful and they never once complain for the troubles to help me out...im very touched and learnt to appreciate my mum even more...though she likes to nag and repeat like a parrot... THANKS PAPA MUMMY XIAOBALL without u ppl i think i might end up with post natal blues and maybe committed suicide for all u knw... then ur wnt be able to read my boliao blogs anymore...and see cutie bryan and bibi's fotos...

i was having some fat hopes lah...thinking to be a complete housewife till end of DEC 07...lol.. by then, bibi alrdy breastfed for 6mths...immune system more stablised,so i can go back to work in peace..i mean go find job then...AND thats IF cow allows lah...

Mayb im jus too demanding...less one income, but he never get serious finding part time jobs, always TALK only...he's nt ambitious- nvm. but at least let me see that he's really fighting and working hard for this family and nt simply hoping thru gambling and placing bets on matches to be rewarded... its time - high time for him to be more mature and committed to this family... argh...i dunno y i saying all these lah...

Anyway my usual line - I"M LEAVING EVERYTHING TO GOD. OF COS I'VE GOT TO WORK HARD TO GET THE RESULTS I WANNA SEE...
*****************************************************************************************************************

if u have been serious abt our relationship,
i think we would lead a very different life now...
somewhere out there? where nobody knws us...
we can lead very simple life and be happy.

now that u raise the qns to me...
its very heartaching to push u away this time...
cos u r the one who pushed me hard and rough to a corner...
and thank GOD i've braced myself and come so far...

u can never imagine the hurt, mental and emotional breakdown i've been having...
everything is ur say...wat abt me?
wat can i say now?
YES or NO?
i chose NO.
i gave lame excuses...i hear sadness in ur voice
though u tried to counter offer me...
IM SO SORRY my dear...
for this is the only way thats good for u and me...

the only thing i can never figure out is...
why its so hard to ask for very basic things in my life...
a hug, a care, unconditional love and loving kiss...
these aren't things that can be bought over...
it has to be from ur heart- deep down inside u.

words to u are like cheapskate things
they are meaningless to u
but u never knw the knid of hurt it has been implanted in me...

watever, hwever..i stilll love u, not the same cos it seems so so far away now..
i still miss u... =)
may good luck bless u to find a better person to spend with thru this journey.

thanks for all the memories...love u

save me from the nothing I’ve become..

~~Tuesday, June 19, 2007~~

7:02 AM

Some random fotos of bibi piglet...
can see that the clothings are oversized for him...lol xD

and then u can see the big brother at work...feeding water to the younger one...

ya..today went back to polyclinic again to re-chk for his jundice lvl...yes can see from the fotos..he's abit yellowish...BUT the idiot polyclinic doc made me and my sis run to NUH cos she said his lvl exceeded the limit need to rush him for phototherapy..scare us to death...
when we reached NUH, the MO there said..aiyo "Sorry to make u come down here, there's no need for phototherapy at all..." argh... then he gave me a letter and asked me to go back to the polyclinic to redo the jundice blood test to confirm the lvl again and only to go back to NUH if the lvl exceeds 300...argh...
today the lvl raise slightly by 7 pts..so 3 days later, gtg back to do the test again jus to monitor lor...sian...so many trips...
lol

save me from the nothing I’ve become..

~~Thursday, June 14, 2007~~

10:58 AM

1058hrs at NUH Delivery Suite 5

Ward 42 Bed 26

My PIGLET has officially announced his arrival to see this wonderful world and us the heavenly beings!!!

Thank GOD Jesus, he's very healthy!!!!

And I'm very proud to announce that he's on total breastfeeding! Cheers!!!

we have not done his birth cert yet cos we are still hesitating on his chinese name as well as his christian name...maybe the name Zeus might not be in use after all...to be updated again!

yipee...

save me from the nothing I’ve become..

~~Monday, June 11, 2007~~

9:17 AM

In the Days of Knitting Craze

Here are some of my very recent completed knits, other than the Melba Sue Dress i made for my niece, Faith..

Got this pattern from net, free knitting patterns. and i did some amendments to the steps and stitches as well, cos the yarn im using is smaller..

NewBorn Longies done on circular needles

This is how it looks after ribbing is completed (ie top of the longies), and we are ready to start knitting the hips area.

This is the front of the longies (ie outer side of the hips)

This is the inner view of the longies

This is how it looks like after knitting in the round for 8" in length, including the ribbing.

Now, we are ready to knit the legs area. Insert 3 doubled pointed needles (which i DIY from the disposable chopsticks) to one of the legs; while the stitches for the other leg is still on the circular needles.

This is how it looks like when i started knitting on doubled pointed needles to one of the legs.

Its abit difficult to grab the needles and knit with the 4th double pointed needles..hahaha..cos needles are abit small and the area to knit is also small...and probably cos im still GREEN in knittings...

This is how it looks like before doing the tapering for the legs.

This is how it looks after completing one of the legs with ribbing at the bottom.

Now, insert the 3 double pointed needles into the stitches of the other leg and complete as above.

Sew the crotch area and ...Ta-Da!!! the completed newborn longies. (See a different pair of longies done on straight knitting needles, which is more body hugging in the photos as below)

Here are some of my recent completed knits....all for my baby boy...YES u didnt get it wrong a baby boy...although all the knits looks more like for a baby girl...lol tats bcos i've got plenty of yarns from the blanky which im supposed to knit instead...kekekeke

The 1st set of newborn booties and mittens made from the leftover yarns for the making of MElba Sue Dress for my niece.

This is to let u have an idea how small it is on my palms...so cute hor...hehehhee

This is my 1st pair of newborn longies done on straight knitting needles...

The double pointed needles DIY from disposable chopsticks..for knitting of the leggies of the longies...

Okie and finally this is the 2nd set of baby booties and mittens..of cos its bigger than the newborn set...hehe..

Now...trying to make gauges right so that i can start knitting a sweater for Bryan..I've not knit anything for him yet!!! feel so bad...

bought 6 balls of yarns - very striking colourful yarns...hope the sweater turns out nice on him...cos its rainbow colours... and i hope i wont make mistakes in this sweater making like...falling stitches, wrong stitches, or end up with an undersized sweater for him...hehehe...

okie so much of knittings in this post...next post shall update on my BELOVED Bryan Master...hehe..

and..im looking very fwd to delivering Zeus.. but i havent really settle the issue on confinement with my in laws...headache... have got to settle tonite alrdy... =(

And today is my last chkup at NUH...hehehe...gg there to lunchie with cow...cos we both like to eat the mee-robus there...

*************************************************************************************

I wonder how u look...

I wonder who u resembles more...

I wonder if u will turn out to be a Girl when delivered though its been confirmed on scan that ur a BOY... =)

I wonder if I can shower equal amt of loves for both Bryan and u...and cow...

I wonder...I wonder...

But Thank GOD- Jesus, HE made u healthy... HE made a difference...to me...

Thank God that I've got so many loving things and ppl ard me...allowing me to live everyday to my fullest now...cherishing even more than before...

Let Bygones be bygones...I know its easier said than done...However the emotions are so different once the mind is set to live for all my loved ones and of cos for myself.

If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere...right?

save me from the nothing I’ve become..

~~Sunday, June 03, 2007~~

12:08 AM

It's all hard work ok I tell u all....HEADACHE arh... my papa and mummie wants me to learn writing my own name....its a disaster for ME.... "Shang Nao Jin"

this is what happen to me after too much of cryig over te writing of my name BRYAN YUE...my right eye swollen...cos i keep rubbing

And I was very sad lor whenever my parents say this sentence to me every night after my dinner and shower... " Boy, now learn to write ur name ..."

But I tell u, I've finally mastered writing my name OK? on 2nd June morning...lucky my mummie was patient enough to guid and praise me for my little little effort in writing..the photos in the later part will show u what i meant....so YAYs for my victory!!

OK I know ur can't wait to see my progress from the scratch...LEt's PEEP....hehehehe

Before all these, my mummie made me trace my name..and i did it very well..so it thought.chey writing my own name isn't tat tough after all mah...BUT tell u the real horror jus begin! My mummie started out on Vesak Day (Thurs) afternoon...she got me to trace and begin freehand writing on BR i did them fairly well, so mummie thought 2 letters per day is good enuff, so she stopped and told me to continue tmr...i was so happy...chey..BR chicken feet lah...and then ....

Saw the bottom right page torn? ya..the next day my mummie revise with me the letters BR..i did fairly well too, except my letter B got a tail below it...hhah..the horror things begin..now the letter Y...i was so bad hat mummie scolded me for writing upside down..that i cried and tore the page edge lor...

see the tougher part of the training begins here when my papa steps in to "guide"..when i couldnt get the letter right and said i dun wanna write, he grabbed me out of the house and left me at 8th flr corridor alone while he stood at the staircase...of cos i screamed and cried very loudly for help...for mummie...then mummie came to my rescue...brought me bk hm and comfort me...gave me lunch and then...argh...practise writing again lor...for 2 hrs b4 she allowedme my nap...BRYAN YU e the E i cannot write properly, my mummie was uset cos she guided me for 2 full page still i couldnt get it rite.....

Saturday morning when i woke up, i told mummie i wanna play and watch ANt Bully..but she told me to wash up, eat breakfast, then practise writing...if my writing is great then i will onlybe allowed to play my blocks and watch Ant Bully...i tried negotiate but failed so gotta agreed with mummie's plan for the day...

BRYAN YUe..the E is giving me hell of problems..i jus couldnt get it rite..i dun understd...see hole page of Es but i still failed to get it rite...

then my mummie..hahaha..she changed her method of guiding me...she took another pencil and asked me to follow her way of writing and if i got it rite she will award STARS to me...i said YAY of cos...and asked for lots of it even before i get it rite...mummie did keep her promise after all...seee....

so i ended up writing my name BRYAN YUE in FULL for 5 times (see the right page) and got plentiful of STARS...and ticks...im so happy that i asked mummie to call papa to inform him nd i wanna write to show my grandpa something that im so proud of myself!!!

I TOLD MY MUMMIE I LOVE HER AND KISSED HER ON THE LIPS AND CHEEKS SEVERAL TIMES FOR ENCOURAGING ME...

(sorie forgot to rotate this photo)and this page is the one that i wrote to show to my grangdpa "GongGong" on Saturday evening..hahaha....stylo milo hor!!! i tell u now i can even write the strokes in the air or table to show u....3cheers to me!!!

hiphip hooray x3

save me from the nothing I’ve become..