> bring me to life.

~~Friday, March 30, 2007~~

5:08 PM

haiz..
if u ppl reading this knws...cos i msg u ydae...
ya...im very sick liao ...its been so long alrdy...y must we rake the past and diedie must get bk at that person? i really dun understd...almost everyone, i can say...have forgotten abt the incident..y rake it up? will it do any good? anyway im nt for the idea to be part of ur complainant alrite? anyway... im vr contented with the results la..anyway its alrdy "NICE" of LL nt failing us cos she has nt like us at all... so thank God for all these and be grateful...somemore u alrdy got such a great job and doing well...y y y Y Y Y??? rake these things up? if u gonna write as a whole group...it will oni affect everyone in the team...i dun see the need...and frankly speaking..im really really SICK of getting bk when we knw she obviously is this kind of ppl... so let her be lor..its her conscience tat will prick her for the rest of her life...so wat i wanna say is...take a step bk and forget it peep!

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got a surprise ydae evening...saw Azzy on my way to my in law hse for dinner...she's working parttime teacher at one of the childcare opp Pioneer Mall...cheers and she looks fine to me..she rtn me the $ i loan her ..hahaha..thks so much......she looks much beta, except tat she can oni continue her cse in Jun/July...which is so long sia...lucky she gt a job to sustain on...good for her...

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hmm...saw tat someone online jus nw..ever since tat incident nv even knw wats gg on..
watever...mayb its true tat avoidance is the best at this moment...
watever it is...May God Bless U still... lol.. im nt a big meanie lah... jus tat life's gotta move on rite?
U said "There's nothing in this world called FAIR. No fairness in this world..."
I feel maybe u were hurt in someway..cldnt get over..so the statement was made.
sometimes..we have to look at things from a different angle..the situation may nt be as bad as u tot it wld be...it cld have been better IF u believe..
TRUST is wat i feel u lack in all relationships u have...so tats y it nv last...U r afraid of commitment as well....kekeke haiz
DO U BELIEVE?
sometimes i wanna smpathize with u...but then i tink again...watz the pt? watever i say is nt gonna change ur mind...so forget it...till one day when u really fall fr the so-call heaven to the hell..u wld definitely agree with me..... (chey sounds too serious liao...i take bk this statement)
tats all i can say to u... hehehe

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Zeus has been kicking alot...lol...sometimes i dun even knw if he's really excited or throwing tantrams in me...lol anyway...Mummie loves u deepdeep..

had a nightmare last nite..
dreamt me, hubby staying wif my parents..
one night i suddenly awoke and was walking pass another bedroom, saw the bi-fold chair rocking forward on its own.. i freaked so i went bk to the other room and screamed to my dad and everyone there.
my dad walked to tat room to take a look and saw one of the shoebox flying in the air..."aiyoooooo.." my dad screamed and went towards to the flying shoebox but it landed on the grd instead..
then gt many confusion in my dream, i cant recall..then i found myself awake..my mouth cursing and swearing and saying out the dream so tat it will nv come true.. and i went bk to slp..

haiz..wat is my dream trying to tell me? my dreams are often relates to my reality vr vr closely...so wat does it wanna tell me or warn me now...i really cant figure out...

i jus hope and pray that my family will be safe and safe...watever...im willing to be the sacrifice if required... God Bless everyone ard me...my loved ones...Amen.

its been raining in the afternoon the past few days, today oso la...so heavy...haiz...
i was damn lazy today...other than doing the laundry...i was playing games, msning and now blogging...wa....hahhahaha bored sia...

okie..today my entry super lengthy...hehehe
tats all la...
ciao!

save me from the nothing I’ve become..

~~Wednesday, March 28, 2007~~

10:28 AM

ok i went to chkout the christian live bkshop at JP with my sis ydae.
lucky found the cd that Bryan likes...no dvd..

he was very happy..he asked" is this my house one? my school oso got one rite? this one my house one hor mummie?" i nodded my head. he immediately went to play the song..and he asked again bringing the casing to me "this one my school oso hv hor...this one my house one arh mummie? yeah yeah..." but was abit disappointed cos its not dvd...he cant see the kids on the screen dancing to the songs..he blamed me for not turning on the screen for him to watch..i told him cant find the dvd...cd is the only one that i managed to find...hehehe..

anyway once the music is on..he danced so happily and only will sing the impt verse...funie i laughed and glad he liked it so much...

"Jesus your my superhero
Your my star
my best friend...
Yeah.... better than spiderman, superman,batman..better than anyone..."

"Never give up cos He's always there
Never give up anytime anywhere
Never give up cos He's always there

Never Give up
Never Give up...yeah...."

"Jesus you are the saviour of my soul..."

those songs yet to be taught he will stop his dancing and ask us to read him storybooks..hahha
when he hear familiar tunes..he begins again... >.<

its vr sweet to hear him sing with his smiles so wide and laughing out loud as his dances to the song...touching...if only COW can watch him doing that with so much happiness..

haha...all thanks to his teacher Ms Denise!

he's been singing this verse every morning b4 he goes sch and when he's home...amazed?

wat more can i ask for? to see my son so happy and enjoying school as much as the songs...Amen
Guess wat...think Zeus likes it too..the Superhero song..haha..he's kicking alot...excited? i guess...good la...hee

save me from the nothing I’ve become..

~~Tuesday, March 27, 2007~~

8:33 AM

"Jesus, U're my superhero
U're my star
U're my best friend..."

this is wat bryan has been singing since last friday...
i had no idea of this song...just got to knw fr the teacher that she jus begin teaching them songs from this CD called [Jesus, You're my superhero. Hillsongs live worship for kids]

haha..if i gt extra $$ 1st thing i go buy him this CD..he loves the worship songs...good..at least when he "lose control" over his temper...when i begin singing this verse it keeps him calm and gets him singing along as well...

haiz...jus went to update my bankbook ydae...so pathetic!!..anyway..i have to survive on bread liao till the NSS gets credited into my bank and my sis rtn me my $$...so pathetic till i've got no choice but to cancel my insurance policies..i really dried...hahaha...hopefully my sis did it quick...if nt DIE lor...lol...then my regular chkup for the mth of Apr..mayb i cancel la..anyway im fine so no nid go chk lah..tong till May then see hw..

er... stay at hm oso gd lah.wnt anyhw spend $..read books lor..hahhaha....play games...do housework.....hahahha...haiz..its bored la but no choice till things get better!!

okokokok..gtg...READ BOOKS!

save me from the nothing I’ve become..

~~Sunday, March 25, 2007~~

10:21 AM

finally we brought bryan to the new sports complex near our hse ydae late morning..
hahaha had lots of fun and the facilities there are good mayb cos its new and very big...

bryan dared nt play at the children's pool..instead made us go lazy pool instead..he vr one kind..he actually is tall enuff to walk in tat lazy pool of 0.8m high of water!! he's ard 0.96m...more than a head above the water...still wanna bully me and made me his float!!hahaha

anyway its our 1st time in the pool for 4 hrs!!! imagine hw sun burnt i can get and needless to say bryan...hahaha...take off his trunks u see his buttocks...so damn fair as compared to his whole body!!hahaha

actually we intend to leave after ard 1 & half hr cos tot its gonna rain...cloudy sia...then he refused to go...we tot its been quite awhile since we last brought him to pool so let him play awhile longer...din noe the awhile longer turns out to be another 2&half hr in th pool..

hahaha..i laze by sitting at the pool side..so i think tats y i kena burnt the most la...
btw that pool got a jacuzzi pool..cool...hahaha...lazed ard there enjoying the water punches to soothe my backaches...

ok..tats all now..if gt time later...chk out my PART 2

save me from the nothing I’ve become..

~~Friday, March 23, 2007~~

1:10 PM

haha..
ok have been thinking for a couple of days
finally i wanted to named my boy - ZEUS ! means Living!!
cos i nearly can't have him so ...hahaha
Zeus Yue XX
havent name his chinese name yet..haha

haiz...boring sia at home...ydae go library borrow books home..read abit then fall aslp..lol
and the cycle repeats...then play online games, chk emails, msn ernie(cos we are the bery free ppl at home rotting), make flashcards and hahaha learning corners at home for bryan, do housework, blogging, upload pics...aiyo..watever u name a boring person can basically do at home..all im doing lor!

im blur sia the clothes that run colour i mix them into washing machine..all those white and beige colour clothes all kena bluesome strips dye...knn...those are my fav clothes! wth...argh..
gtg buy bleach and some colourrun dye home to dye them bk! hopefully it works la...if nt there goes those clothes...

i plan liao.. (chey machiam wat sia)
every morning play kiddy music to Zeus..read bryan's storybooks to Zeus..then rest...lol
he really machiam listening quietly like tat lor...when the music or when i finished reading then he start kicking or tumbling or samersaulting inside la...
i play games he oso will kick, i watch tv he oso kick...seems like i must do something for him and nt for myself..he protesting inside..

when i eat he wnt kick...i think i full i stop he start kicking...hahahahaha...
think i really too free liao...last time when bryan's time i where got do so much things for preparing bryan? lol
think im beginning to be KS mother liao...

argh...can't work = killing me..
so now wat to do...except read books, listen to kiddy songs, make things for bryan to learn...and paste all over the house...at least he will come ask me wat is that word and try to read...not bad after all...kekeke

ok i stop now...very long this blog..later free i continue..PART 2!

save me from the nothing I’ve become..

~~Wednesday, March 21, 2007~~

8:45 AM

Naming of my baby BOY
got nothing better to do, so search for names on net.the following are some names i quite like..but duno which to choose...mayb ur can help...hahahaha

Arvie - Friend of ppl
Zeus - Living
Cyril - Holy/Lordly
Conan - Wisely Intelligent
Issac/Isaac - Laughter
Xavier - Bright (sounds like saviour...cool..)
Tate -Cheerful
Tadd - Gift of God
Hugh/Huey - Intelligent
Lucas - Light

then i found these...i like the meaning-->
Benjamin - son of my right hand, the beloved, youngest son (hahaha if i name this boy, then the nxt one confirm get a girl!! cos its meaning means he's my youngest son liao mah!!)
Immanuel/Emanuel - God is with us

hahaha..duno which to choose...
Let It Be 11.06am

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argh...finali gt to knw nt employed..kns..
"If u r keen after ur delivery, u may call us for a job" wat shit is this?
if u sincerely want me as part of ur team u wld note down my delivery date and call me after my confinement! wat craps u trying to play wif me..u dirty old weirdo couples....knn..lucky nv go dig and dig for the $2700 u asking for...ur shd thank us for helping u save the pathetic $1k u wanna pay outfront to us fr ur pathetic own pocket...we can wait for the SRP claim to process and get bk our full amt of $3500 for the training allowance...so stop acting ur doing us a GREAT favour hor...i nearly vomitted!!!!

nvm..anyway its gd u knw why..i can now go find some other part time job for these 3mths and get some income....thks to my sis..she helping me look out and my cow oso helping me..hugs to u two...

haha...another day hanging, lazing ard at hm...more flashcards for bryan?hahhaa...
gg out wld mean more $$ output...still gd to stay hm till i get a job...argh...PRAYING HARD..

TO BE OR NOT TO BE
THAT IS A QUESTION

save me from the nothing I’ve become..

~~Monday, March 19, 2007~~

12:03 PM

woohoo...damn free sia at hm shake legs..
so got plenty of time to blog every now and then
sian sia
$$ diet...lol

jus managed to crap for my practicum journal..hahaha...can die sia..
full of shits there...sianness dwelled on me..

tmr nt gg to MLC liao la...wat gif the idiot Mr Lye $2700 in exchange for the training allowance...kns..if he dare to eat our training allowance of $3500...see how we deal wif u...we nt gg to let u off so easily...nv confirmed me for the work still wanna crap so much...GTH

argh...sian sia...asking for EMSU part time operator to work..see hw it goes..hopefully the pay is ok..cos last i knw of is $10 ++ per hr...for employee..nw i no more employee but was ex-employee..duno they still gif this kind of rate or nt...if yes POWER..i nid nt worrie so much on the mthly bills payment...hardly can make ends meet.

i even went to ask back $ fr my sis...jus imagine..and ask my dad to change cash for the coins i saved up ...haiz...sian sian sian...

I must TEACH la....

save me from the nothing I’ve become..

~~Friday, March 16, 2007~~

3:21 PM

The greatest distance between 2 people,
Is not life and death.

It is when I'm standing infront of u,
you don't know how much I love u.

The greatest distance between 2 people,
Is not when I'm standing infront of u,
you don't know how much I love u.

But when we are in love,
we are unable to be together.

The greatest distance between 2 people,
Is not when we are in love,
we are unable to be together.

But when I have to show that I've forgotten u when in fact,
I miss u.

The greatest distance between 2 people,
Is not when I have to show that I've forgotten u when in fact,
I miss u.

But when I have to discard the love I have for u,
dig a wide trench between the 2 of us.

A trench so wide...
I will never be able to cross .....

The further apart we are,
The closer i feel to u,
Loneliness transforms into strength when i think of you,
My heart will ache from the piercing shard of my dream,
Please believe once again in the miracle that let us meet as we are .

for the one that i loved..

save me from the nothing I’ve become..

~~Thursday, March 15, 2007~~

8:52 AM

argh...12th MAr jus "went off" without me knowing..
it marks the end of my prac2.
haiz..missed the kids and the working environment..
jus hoping at least they get me to work as part timer for them...for these 3 mths at least.
im on $$ diet liao...all output no input drains the savings.moreover the idiot cow is gambling too much...drink too much...so...haiz...tats life..
really got no choice...im chasing back all those bad debts (huge amt) which has been long overdued from the some...sian sia...paiseh to ask bk oso..nt my nature..but now really no choice. pregnant, no employer wants sia... but i believe its a blessing in disguise. time for me to rechk wat is my priorty in my life now.. family or work? where shd i put in more commitment? hope i can be a great mum and teacher and friend to my BOYS...i hope my cow will understd me..my decision..
i havent tell my own parents abt me nt working alrdy...and alrdy complete a diploma in early childhood education and is now considered a TEACHER...hahaha..but i think my dad alrdy suspected something but he jus keep mum and await for me to break news to him..hugs ..he must be my guardian angel sent by God sia...Amen.

havent got the mood to start where i stopped for the prac 2 journel sia..sianness overboard...hahaha...wat a word...

staying at hm KILLS oso...i have been watching vcds-dramas...see so boliao rite..then do hseworks..haha then make flashcards to teach bryan. (but he dun see my intention sia...he still say i dun wanna read tat cards..let me hold can alrdy...can die) but im sure my efforts to teach and guide him since i've got alot of time now..these 3 mths..hope he will understd and appreciate me some day...

And im praying for the gd health of all in my family...and u too...my friends..

after delivery...me gonna be a teacher in some centre for sure and i wanna take up A degree in this field..and operate a centre, teaching the kids my way..NO HURRY, lots of PLAY, FUN, LOVE...
hahaha...

DARE TO DREAM
THE DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN FOR U
THE ACHIEVER

save me from the nothing I’ve become..

~~Tuesday, March 06, 2007~~

5:05 AM

haha..jus read my entry...wa...hw time flies...its march liao!!
im getting carzy over the prac2...the host teacher and the ctr sup are drving me crazy..

anyway the kids are fun...but when i dun get sufficient slp...they kena fr me..the FIERCE me..hahha

but frankly teaching kids at this tender age is really fun...though nt all things went on smoothly..haha...but im beginning to hv doubts if im really competent enuff to be termed as a teacher upon graduation...keke...KIM...pls dun dismay..my sms to u late afternoon was to do soul search myself...dun be influenced by me..u are doing perfectly jus tat kids when they hv some "strangers" in class they tend to do a shwoff to embarass the teachers..treat as a learning pt and move on!! its u and my dream...open a ctr ourselves and get the kids crazy...so hang on and u will love this job even more...mayb much more than anyone else...hugs

haiz...ok gta commemorate this date 2nd march 2007..friday afternoon at 1440hrs..its claimed tat U R A BOY!!! my goodness...cant i jus get out of the MAsters and little maid situation har? haha anyway..THANK GOD he's healthy as per scan and chks... AMEN.

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r u sure u dun even wanna knw boy or gal?
nw its cf a BOY so hw?
hahaha..
lets "continue" the reproduction till its a gal...
hahahaa..
ONz hor...
Love u hubby
Love u bryan
Love u my son-to-be...
love u all ard me...

save me from the nothing I’ve become..